Hey Loves welcome back!!! Today we are going to talk about something that has been consistent in my life recently and I even covered it in a past blog [https://atomic-temporary-190641315.wpcomstaging.com/blog/f/sober]
I have been thinking a lot about this blog and how it covered the piece of the puzzle I was dealing with at the time but not the whole picture. I have been looking at the pieces I have and by pieces, I mean memories and such. So, if you haven’t read Sober I recommend checking it out I will link it below but here’s a quick recap:
There are many types of illnesses and addictions. Among them is codependency. Sober covered the questions that overwhelmed my life when my literal other half had to leave. It quoted Clean and I Almost Do by Taylor Swift. Songs that began to clear a path in my tormented heart. Clearing the way for healing to begin. Sober covered the hurt and the betrayal this, this is sober 2.0 the path to forgiveness. Shall we?
I was hurt terribly but there is this quote that says “You are responsible for how long what hurt you haunts you” this is one of the most powerful quotes and I have always known that but I didn’t KNOW that. Make sense? Then Taylor once again expressed it. In 2020 she released two albums on July 24th and December 11th, Folklore and Evermore. Track 5 on Folklore titled My Tears Ricochet;
We collect the stones never knowing what they’ll mean
Such a powerful line so simple but so powerful. But still not all of it. The song August track 8 on Folklore…
August slipped away like a bottle of wine, cause you were never mine
It made sense but again wasn’t all of it. Then surprise Evermore released with the final bit to clearing the path. The puzzle wasn’t complete but it was like when you only have three or four pieces missing? Track 7 on Evermore titled happiness.
There’ll be happiness after you but there was happiness because of you
Tell me when did your winning smile begin to look like a smirk? When did all our lessons start to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt? I hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you No, I didn’t mean that sorry I can’t see facts through all of my furry you haven’t met the new me yet
I can’t make it go away by making you a villain I guess that’s the price I pay for seven years in heaven
All of these lines from the same song and then some. This song nailed it. It cleared it and I could finally make piece. There’s another bit of that song that is actually the whole reason I am writing this…
All you want from me is the greenlight of forgiveness, you haven’t met the new me yet I think she’ll give you that
The greenlight of forgiveness. The new me. The new me will give you that. We are in charge of how long what hurt us haunts us. Forgive and forget is the old saying right? Sometimes we can’t forget because it’s burned into our brains, but we can control the forgiveness. We can forgive them for ourselves. Ironically as I have been figuring this out and walking down this path and I recently got a message from My person and well now I am at a place in my life where I know how to stand and breathe without her so I can let her back in because I figured out the boundaries. I found it and I figured it out. I am me, and she is her. Yes, this may be strange logic but now it’s logic. I got my conformation. I got what I prayed for.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together ~ Marilyn Monroe
Sometimes good things have to break so better things can come along and then of course there’s always the fact that “Some walks you have to take alone. – Suzanne Collins”
I am a strong believer in everything happens for a reason. Sometimes I hate that about myself because I can’t even get mad about my dog dying because hey now, I have Rocky? And of course, Bo is in a better place now to, but you get the point.
Anyways let’s wrap this baby up right? The moral of this post is yes, I had to take time away and find myself and boundaries. But I have done that. As long as you protect your emotional bubble then maybe you’re safe? I know where I stand now, and I know what I plan to do. I also know now that forgiveness isn’t for them it’s for us, so we can have a weight lifted off of our chest and stop being suffocated. I hope you all enjoyed this post don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter to get monthly updates on the 11th and I hope and pray you are all safe and well ❤
As always until next time Loves ❤
Hailey Marie
Stormy Ville 
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