Gwen – My port – Stormy Ville

The creativity has come back kind of.

Today is my ports one year birthday. This was something I was dreading. But I – well technically my boyfriend had the idea. A sarcastic joke I turned into a reality and added my own flair to.

So happy birthday to the life saving device implanted in my body that a lot of people think is overkill and don’t think is necessary but some doctors finally listened and gave me a fighting chance haha. The device that nearly killed me once but we laugh in the face of death, kissed his cheek and said try again next time! The device that moved against all odds they said “well that shouldn’t do that?” And finally the final one third and final try. Third time is the charm right? She settled in, survived a drunken fall, drives me absolutely insane with how I can feel her move (yes I’ve given the inanimate object in my body a gender sue me! Don’t actually because that would literally make no sense why does it affect you?) hell I might name her Gwen! We are making peace with this okay?

Some might say well it’s not that big of a deal and to those I say fuck you you never walked a day in my shoes and I wouldn’t judge you for how you coped so yeah bite me. But yeah happy birthday to Gwen. Yes we’re going with it. I should be a comedian.

On a serious note, I do want to reframe this in my mind. This is something that I am going to have to live with. My port is essential to my well-being and if giving it a birthday is helpful then why does that matter to anyone else? I shouldn’t be ashamed of doing something to help my mind. And you shouldn’t either. So let this be your sign to do whatever that “weird” thing is to help you feel better or cope. If it isn’t hurting anyone or yourself don’t worry about what they’ll think. Buy the cake, light the candle, say the wish. It’s okay.

I want many more years with this port and I want to celebrate it every year I have it because it gives me life. If a little slice of cake and a candle make it a little more bearable, what’s the harm? The point is don’t let the thoughts of what they’d think stop you from finding peace, okay?