Tattoos and piercings.

Since I used the post that was supposed to drop today on Monday, today’s post will be a bit shorter. And yes I’m aware I completely ditched the prompts this month. Honestly that’s partially because I wanted to challenge myself and partially because I wasn’t really feeling them? Not that they weren’t good but like they were too good? As in my brain can’t handle that kind of dive right now? I hope that makes sense. Plus I couldn’t settle on a name and that did bother me.

Anyway today I figured I would tell you a random story about my brain? Nah I’m kidding. We’re coming up on anniversaries of things that I’m slowllllllllllllllllllyyyy processing and I wanted to tell you how my brain is dealing with it? Right?

Right.

I’ve like always wanted tattoos and piercings. For as long as I can remember. I have two tattoos already. I used to have my ears pierced but they closed up. I want to redo them though. Like when I say I want tattoos and piercings I mean like I want to be covered. I want so many. I want a tattoo for every time I was stabbed with a needle for blood work. That’s my mental logic.

For piercings? I want – well it used to be a spider bite but I’ve thought it through and I think I want the snake bites. But I’ll probably just start with spider haha. I want my belly button done, my left eye brow and I never really wanted my nose done until last year when I was wasted and talking about how my cat Jonah (rest in peace) used to always bite my nose and I joked that he’d always try to pierce my nose. Why not? Right? I miss him. Then for my ears honestly I’m not sure how far I’ll get with them because I have so many problems with my ears but I’m willing to test the waters.

I just want to look different haha. Part of me wants so badly to dye my hair again. But also I’m so scared too because my hair is somewhat healthy again…but also it isn’t? So like why not? I already changed the part to where I’ve got a fringe and not side bangs which was my signature for years.

I don’t necessarily want to look different like as in change who I am? But I want to be the woman I want to be? I want to feel myself. I feel like a lot of people can relate to that you know? Like I want my clothes to reflect who I am but I want my skin to reflect it to. I want to look in the mirror and not feel like an outsider in my own body. Not feel like I’m still the same person that let that shit happen… I know that’s not a healthy way to look at it probably? And if someone came to me and said that I’d argue that they never let anything happen. But I’m shit at taking my own advice and my mind runs wild.

But yeah so I want to be me. To end on a cute note, I probably will get my nose pierced first as a memorial thing for Jonah. And my next tattoo will probably be “Forever is the sweetest con” somewhere… Haven’t fully settled on a location yet. Or Psalm 134 on my back. I don’t know yet to be honest. Tattoos are more complicated for me to decide because I have so many in mind and I’m so damn picky plus I have these ideas in my head that I don’t really know how to explain? Reasons why I wish I had a friend who was a tattoo artist and knew how my brain worked lol. Because then we could make it happen. Plus I just would rather have a specific artist and a specific hairdresser and yeah I’m like that. That probably makes no sense.

But anyways yeah that’s my story for the day and I’m sorry that I posted the Taylor Swift post two days early. This weekend I might take a two day break from posting to get some work done but also to relax. I’m not sure yet to be honest. I hope you all have a lovely day or night whenever you read this!

Catch you on the flip side

❤ Hails