Chapter Eight_Huntleigh

I honestly hated myself for drinking. If I wasn’t surrounded by everyone maybe I’d be panicking about now. Spiraling would be more like it. The conversation was lulling. His eyes were magical… alluring. I’d always been drawn to eyes like his, the ones with stories to tell and secrets to hide. Ones wise beyond their years and youthful glows. Eyes truly are the windows to the soul – I’d always believed that anyway and wondered what others thought when they’d looked into mine.

“Are you alright Huntleigh?” His voice drew stars in the darkness as he spoke, dragging me back into the world we shared and bypassing every guard I had. 

“Mhm- I cleared my throat forgetting I was human for a moment – “Of course.” I smile as he sits across from me. “Are you?” 

“I am. I was just taking in the room. You seem like you’re tired ready to hit the hay, been a long day?” A grin tugs at his lips, and though I’m ashamed to admit, I’m seeing double and can hardly focus, he is still handsome as blurry as he is. 

“Something like that. I just don’t want to cut off their fun.” I gestured to Trent and Drew who were playing a game of pool with my brothers. “I believe I was supposed to be the designated tonight and as you can see it’s not happening?” I force a laugh. “I’m sorry.” I say instinctively and also because I am. 

“Sorry for what?” 

“This? I don’t usually get wasted… or like this, I’m really quite boring to be honest.” I laugh. “I mean I interrupted the party and then I I I made you join us and now I’m rambling.” I feel the panic welling up in my throat as I hide my face. “I should go.” I laughed, attempting to stand up and nearly faceplanting had it not been for him thinking rather quickly and catching me. 

“Shit.” He whispers. “First of all, you’re far from boring.” He says helping me back into my seat as everyone comes over to check on us. 

“What’s going on over here?” Micky was the one to ask and glaring as he did…though he kept his hands on both Jake and Drew. “Are you alright, Hunt?” 

“I’m fine. Go back to your game, we were just talking and I almost fell.” A white lie to cover my own ass. Though it wasn’t fully a lie, I almost fell, and I wasn’t fully fine, but Connor wasn’t in the wrong. It was enough to suffice Jake and Drew, but Micky wasn’t buying it, he stuck around for a moment longer. 

“Huntleigh, are you sure you’re good?” 

“As sure as Taylor Swift is my favorite artist. I’m fine, I swear. I’m just a clutz you know that.” 

“Uh-huh. Behave yourself Brooky boy, that is my baby sister.” 

“I know, Kinnley I know.” He laughs, and I can hear his heartbeat, I hadn’t even realized I was still leaning on him until that moment. I think he’s scared of my brother. “As I was saying Huntleigh – he sighs helping me back into the chair. “You aren’t boring and you didn’t interrupt the party. You aren’t like a party crasher or anything.” 

“Party planner by day and crasher by night?” I laugh. “Pretty weird super villain.” 

“That would be a funny comic. Also, I don’t think you made us join you? You invited us, but if we didn’t want to, we could have said no.” 

“Fair…I’m not always like this. I just don’t want you to get the wrong impression.” I say wiping my face as I feel a tear fall. I hated being like this. “Like drunk you know? Cause I think you’re cool and I want to hang out and everything, but I don’t want you to think this is who I am?” 

“I don’t.” He smiles. 

“Not even the whole comparing and rating everyone? It doesn’t muddle your view?” 

“Not really? I mean don’t get me wrong I am slightly curious about my rating still and how that worked but I thinks all shits and giggles to you. Isn’t it?” 

“A little bit. I don’t actually care that much. If I like someone, I like them. But a lot of it’s just jokes and teasing. Ways to fit in with my friends.” 

“I see. Trying to blend in with the crowd, because even when you belong, you don’t?” 

“Damn. Gotta call me out like that?” I laugh while taking a sip of my drink. 

“Only because I get it.” 

“I know you do.” I smiled, watching him, still blurry but I’d never felt more at home. 

“How’d you know?” He smiles sipping his own drink. 

“Because of your eyes and everything about you.” 

“What about my eyes? Can you even see straight right now?” He laughs. 

“Hell no. I haven’t been able to see straight for a while… I can’t even tell if I’m wearing my glasses to be honest with you.” I laugh and both laugh together. 

“You’re wearing them.” He says finally. “You’re definitely wearing them. But what’s so special about my eyes?” 

“Eyes are the window to the soul. And your soul is beautiful.” I say with a smile. “But you want to keep that buried, don’t you? Under that gruff, cowboy exterior?” 

“Are you saying I’m a phony?” He says with a bit of a chuckle. 

“I would never say such a thing. You are tough. But you need someone to be soft with, because you’re only soft alone or with kids. Because judging from your interactions with your nephew you’ve always been there for him, and you always will be and you’d be an amazing father. Most likely because you either didn’t have a good father or you had an amazing father. My bet is on the latter though with the way you distance yourself from everyone.” 

“You probably had a shit dad, huh?” He watches me with a keen eye. “Alcoholic? That why you get self-conscious about drinking.” 

“What gave you that idea? The fact he won’t let me claim his bastard son as my brother? And my other brother denies him since he’s only his stepfather?” I laugh.  

“I was thinking more along the lines of the fact you dated a man ten years older than you, who abused you. You were taught that women are below men, which is why you seethe at the thought of being in love with another man.” 

“Now we’re cooking.” I smile. “We were close once. Me and my dad, I mean. But what about you and your dad? He was a good man, wasn’t he?” 

“Amazing man, and even better father.” He sighs. “I’m going to guess that you two were close when you were little then as you got older and more aware that’s when you two got pushed further and further apart?” 

“You would be correct.” 

“That happened with my mom and her dad. He was a pastor and as she got older, she didn’t stand in the same grounds he did.” 

“Must be a pastor and their kid thing. My dad was a pastor too, but when he lost the church, everything went to hell a lot faster.” 

“So does that mean your religious?” 

“Do I look like I go to church?” I ask with a smile. 

“Is that rhetorical?” 

“You’re so sweet.” I sigh. “Fuck no, I don’t go to church. My church is nature. I’d probably be burned at the stake because I vote we burn the pedos and creepers at the stake and let the witches rule the world. I’m bi, I’d rather throw back a few and pass a joint with all my friends at a bar who are all real with me, and we can talk about Jesus or whatever while we smoke and drink, than go and sit with a bunch of back stabbing judgmental old fucks who just want to treat us all like were the spawn of Satan because loving a man is something he couldn’t change or loving a woman is something she couldn’t change, or the fact that HE was born in the wrong body and decided to fix it. So, no. I don’t go to church. Yes, I believe in god. But also, no I won’t support them when all they do is lie or support the villains. At least we’re honest about our ‘heathenism’. And yes, I know not every church is like that but most of them are and that’s my problem with it. So…yeah, I’d rather just exist. Have good morals and if I go to hell for that, okay. What about you? Are you super religious?” 

“No, most definitely not. I believe in God, I was raised with good morals and to treat others right and respect what they believe and I’ve always felt kinda like I was just doing it on my own. Church felt like a playground for chaos and drama when I was growing up, and I never really liked that. I reckon I feel about like you do. Nature is a damn good church. It’s quiet and peaceful and fishin’ was always kinda where my dad talked to god if and when he ever did. And I kind of took after him with that.” 

“Yeah, I always joked I was Posiden’s daughter even though I couldn’t swim. I think it’s cause I loved the Percy Jackson series so much. Always felt closest to god when I was in or by the water.” 

“It’s a good spot for it.” 

“The water spirits and wood nymphs are my favorites.” 

“I’m starting to think you just like anything that would have gotten you burned at the stake in the old days. Werewolves, fae, nymphs, water spirts, what’s next you seeing ghosts?” 

“I have. And you should see my collection of all things witchy and spooky. My house is thoroughly protected in the spirit realm.”

“Something tells me you are not joking.” 

“Not at all.” I smile as he smirks. 

“You’re picky about your people, aren’t you?” 

“Very… especially who I let into my space.” 

“Why did you let me in?” 

His eyes lock onto mine and I paused not because I have to think. No, I know the answer as to why I let a man I’d just met into my home, the home I’d had blessed. The home, I’d prayed over and for. The home I’d curated specifically into a safe space for me and my pets. My home. Why had I let him in? A simple answer is because I like him, because I knew, I felt something – a kindred spirit of sorts. But a more complex answer lies beneath one that even I haven’t fully unmasked. Mostly out of denial, or because it feels impossible. Or maybe because it seems like odd timing. But the truth remains. My soul knows him, I’ve waited my whole life for my soul to find one like his.

“Because the vibes were right.”