Turning Back

Some people believe in the right person wrong time, some don’t. I don’t actually know what I believe. A long time ago I used to say if it was meant to be it’d happen… then again you also have to be willing to work for it – so does the other person. What if? Ha. That’s what gets us right?

                    It’s midnight and he’s all I think about. Specifically, that one last night that everything… everything in the world was right. If we could just go back to that beach. Go back and walk forever and ever. Neither of us wanted the night to end except somehow, we at least I always knew it’d burn. Or maybe I purposefully burnt it?

                    The energy that night was so calm… kind of like the calm before the storm. We’d been shopping and talking and walking and just enjoying each other’s company for ages. Then it got dark, and we found a place to sit with our toes just barely in the water. Close friends… we’d tried the whole dating thing when we were younger… neither of us wanted to mess things up. But everything was so… perfectly imperfect. I never wanted it to end. He’s home…

                    There’s a quote that says something to the effects of we’re always drowning under the weight of the words that were never said… Why is that always true? Did we miss our chance? I’m grasping at something that isn’t real, aren’t I? And now I’m far more unworthy than I ever thought I was. I truly do just wish we could go back to that beach…  

                    But alas you are forever my what if. Forever my reminder of growth. How far we’ve both come. Though I miss that night… seeing who we are now? I’m so grateful we had that moment.