So long as you get there…(2026 Repost)

Hello and welcome or welcome back to Stormy Ville! Today’s Archived post is a bit different before we move onto it, I’d just like to say that I don’t have anything much to add to the post. I think it was well written and I’m quite sad and confused as to why I took it off my blog to begin with. Prioritizing our mental and physical wellbeing is always a hard thing to do but a necessary thing. It’s important and it shows strength when you can make decisions to protect that aspect of your life. To take the steps to be healthier. And I feel like this post captures my path to that at that time. 

Everyone’s path is different and that’s okay. And maybe your path is the scenic route, I know mine is. But I hope this post is to someone out there what it’s always been to me.

August 31, 2020

About this time last year I was arguing with my parents and constantly telling them I was going to drop out when I turned 16. I was counting the days. Not because of a sweet sixteen but because I was going to drop out.

I used to be a straight A student. Always on time with assignments and sometimes even ahead of schedule (homeschooling if you’re wondering). My teachers loved my work and the dedication I had to it until seventh grade. In seventh grade everything changed. The occasional upset stomachs that I had learned to deal with turned into constantly being ill and having to go lay down in the middle of the school day. As you can imagine my school work got behind and my grades dropped to B’s and low A’s. It may seem really well but I’m a perfectionist and well they weren’t perfect. And then pretty soon the more ill I was the farther behind I got and then the more depressed and anxious I became when dealing with my teachers and again my grades were declining. I got my first ever C in one of my classes. I believe it was music and it seriously ruined me for a month. I was really upset. No matter how hard I tried and how long I worked I couldn’t bring my grades up or get caught up again in fact it felt like I got further behind. Then come 10th grade I started sleeping more than ever before. We had to pull out of the full time program and go into the more lax program with only one or two classes at a time. That was October in 2018 and well it’s March of 2020 and I’m still in tenth grade classes. Well I was. Tonight, I told the teacher of my last class that I would like to withdraw.

This time talking to my parents about it was not an argument, it was us having a conversation about what was better for me. And I made the final call. Every time I get on my computer to work on class work, I feel defeated. Not even because of my health but because I can never be that girl again. The girl that got up every day made her bed and did hours of A+ work. She is gone. That is not me being negative, it’s me being real.

When people hear someone is dropping out or has dropped out, they judge. It’s just natural right? “Oh, you’re dropping out?” Sometimes their tone of voice gives them away or maybe their facial expressions. It’s like it’s programmed into our brains to think that dropping out and getting a GED is some sort of failure!?! Why does it matter? GED still gets you into college. Why does it matter what path we take if we’re still going? All that should matter is getting there!

It is truly one of the hardest things to learn (still learning) as someone with multiple chronic illnesses that have changed our lives. It’s hard in general but throw in it’s your own body that is making this happen and WOW that’s painful.

So I reckon the gist of the story is don’t give up on your dream. It doesn’t matter how you get there, it just matters you get there.