The end.

You tell them we’re sisters. Best friends, but sisters. Turn around and give me a lap dance, make me feel things that I’ve never felt before. You say when they break your heart that it’s me and you, let’s run away to Vegas and get hitched together then it’ll forever be me n’ you. How was I not supposed to fall for you for real? I used to think he was the first “I love you” but he wasn’t. It was you. You were my first “I love you” I meant it. Still mean it which is probably the worst part. If you left him today, came to my house and said let’s go? I’d go. The old me would. I might never get over you. How do you get over something that never technically existed?

Who I am right now…she’d slam the door in your face crying. Because it would take everything to not leave what I’ve worked so hard for. I’d want to kiss you, scream at you and kill myself all in the same instance. But I can’t do any of that. I worry that you would/will come in between me and a significant other, because if they were to be the one to shut the door trying to do the right thing? I’d fuckin’ hate them. You’re my poison. My choice. If I want to overdose on you… take one last risk and it pushes me over the edge? Mine to make. Not theirs. Yet I wish I had someone to tell me to get my shit in check besides my mom and I wish I knew what my brother knew or thought about us?

So many questions are unanswered Vey…so many. Why? Why can’t I get over you? Why did it go down like that? Now we’re strangers and we never truly knew each other! What did I do wrong? Was it me? Was it you? What happened? I just… I love you. Or maybe it was the idea of you? But I don’t think it was an idea. I think some of it was you. I miss you. You need help. And to heal. Within. I need those things too. But to me, you’ll always be my Vey, my Aliveya. My first love. My queen. The woman with a piece of my heart whether she knows it or not. Believe me…I know I fucked up too. I’m sorry. I hope you find what you’re looking for Vey… However, this is the end. Our forever and always ends tonight.

With love Lux